I’m probably not liked 

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That moment you sit back and look at yourself. I know I can be blunt, I’m highly sarcastic, I usually have a lot to say. Most the time I forget others are around and think im just talking to myself. Maybe I share what’s on my mind too much. 

I just don’t have that 20 group of friends like majority of people apparently have. The 6 or so I do have I appreciate you all. I just can’t make new friends. So I’m probably not liked. I’ve been in many situations…. first one there last one picked. Most recent situation… yeah I sat there in a room of people and I just stood there and had to say …. I don’t have a group to join….. 

Maybe that’s why I stick to talking to randoms online, why I try so many job opportunities to work online… I guess I’m just not liked in real life. 

I wish I could have kept my friends I made in jr high… I missed out on a lot, I was the only black girl and I couldn’t go to their houses in these small town bc they were too racist. It sucked bc I miss those connections. Bc I missed out we drifted and I turned to the wrong crowds and… well I don’t like my life. I was going to structure this… but now I think I’m just talking to myself like always and blabbering whatever comes to mind. Surrounded by kids who can tell mommy isn’t happy. 

I like helping people, I like when I get around people who accept me but that rarely happens. I can’t even connect in groups where I see so many people with like minds. I comment- nothing, more people comment the same thing I said and boom Instand conversation. Even when I talk in the middle of it, ignored. Does it matter that yet I’m still the only black girl. More people see color than they want to admit and I feel it all of the time. 

I’m not the white girl… time to mingle with my own kind… but I don’t feel comfortable. It’s not what I’m use to, I grew up around family, and let’s face it family was always different than social peers. I like rock… not so much rap, I don’t know certain lingo…. I’m forever an outsider and most likely will always be stuck without a career that others will support and help me with no matter how cheerful I try to be. I don’t understand this thing called life…..

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This could be your main income at HOME

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It’s not new that I am a single, hard working mom. I do anything and everything I can for my boys. But this last month I feel like I have finally gotten control of my life financially. 

First, I want to talk about the benefits of an awesome membership I got from MCA. For $20 a month I can get my son his eye exams and his special glasses 50% off, 65% off prescription drugs, and even dental 50% off. These are just the health benefits thanks to the MCA membership. I haven’t even mentioned the car and travel discounts for my family.  

Now I, of all people, know $20 a month sometimes can make or break you. I totally get it. I’ve stretched my last $20 for the boys. But I wouldn’t be sharing this if I didn’t believe in it or think so many more people could benefit from it.  The $20 will pay for itself. Yes, it will be like chump change and you can have it paid in one week, heck one DAY ! 

I share my awesome discovery with MCA and in return I get paid at least $80 a day for sharing it with you. And guess what. You can do the exact same. That’s what makes it even better!! 

Why work for corporate America and feel like you are barely getting anything in return?? Share this with those who you know could use the benefits but also use the cash!! You get paid weekly and you control how much you make. $100, $500, $2000 a week?? Only YOU decide and all you have to do is copy, paste and share. 

Here is a start up list of benefits from the membership. 


Now that is AMAZING right? But don’t forget just share with with your friends and family and you could earn $80 or even more for each person. Yes EACH PERSON. You share this amazing membership with. That’s how you control your weekly income. 


If you’ve been on my blog for a while you know a little bit more about me. But I’d like you to get to know me as well. Contact me with any questions you make have. All of my social media links are down below. Facebook, fanpage, YouTube. 

You are all one of the first to hear about this from me. So I’d love to chat with you. 

Krista 

P.S. Learn more here then contact me when you’re ready. Start Making Money TODAY

Don’t forget to follow me on:

YOUTUBE: GlamMom2Boyz

TWITTER: @1dream2succeed

BUSINESS PAGE: Curves Ahead Fashion

INSTAGRAM: @kreese217

Fanpage: GlamMom

TWITCH: Marie217

When you’re the wasted space.

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I am bad luck.

It seems to never end. 

The crying, the the fighting….sooner or later it might come to an end.

What caused this pain? 

Well of course I did.

I had dreams that I let become fantasies. 

A stupid thing called love got in the way. 

Love to fakers, love to lyers.

Love to so called men that fed stories to my ears. 

The same ears I wish would go deaf to stop the voices.

The choices I make now, my mind is never clear. Every step I take is a mess up; always 2 steps forward and 5 steps back.

5 minutes… 5 minutes is all I want.

To brush my teeth, comb my hair, look like a human being.

But my body, my time is no longer mine. It’s the little bodies who came from fake love, from the lyers. 

I can beat myself up emotionally and mentally, but crying every night usually sums it up clearly. 

To feel like a waste, wasted space to society…

I can’t talk to those little bodies they do not understand how tired, how draining it is for one body to take care of 3.

It builds up a fire but not one for drive. A fire of anger that is what always transpires. 

I don’t want to yell, I don’t want to scream….

What will they think of me by the time they turn 18? 

Try to stay calm, bite my lip and fight it…

Too late, I should be fired….

Up about my strength, how far I have come. 

But I’m not. I’m disgusted and angry with what I let become.

Are my parents even proud of me?? They shouldn’t be,

There is nothing to see here but a messed up girl who ruins everything.
July 2017
Krista Reese

Writing a book I wasn’t expecting. 

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“Claire sits in her cozy book nook glaring out of the rain slicked window as she smiled to herself.
She is 28 years old and already so many life changing events have happened to her she didn’t even know she was ready for.

  You see Claire was 28, a young 28 and her life from the outside did look like one that was envious to others. She had an astonishing career running her boutique; it was a dream come true being her own boss and answering to no one. What more could she possibly ask for?
Besides a terrible break up that she wished had never happened from what she thought was the man of her dreams that caused a lot more destruction than she could have ever imagined. 

  Before she got too caught up going down this path, one she took way too often, she petted her Bengal cat Elise softly and smiled.

“I at least have you here when life gets depressing.”

Elise just purred and clearly implied it was time for Claire to at least try and get ready for her date.
…”

I started this book almost a year ago. I thought I’d be done by now honestly. But I have always enjoyed writing and one night a story just popped into my head and at first I thought it was just a poem. As I started writing I just kept going. Then by chapter 2 I realized; nope this is beyond a poem it’s a story that I will finish. Maybe it can become a best seller, or at least sell one copy. Only about 3 people have read what I have so far but I do need to find a proof reader because I’m sure I don’t have punctuation and all those things my English teacher have taught me in the right locations lol. 

This story isn’t a biography, there are some similar things that come out that 100% sound like me but the character and the others in the story have no relation to real life people. One thing I can say is that I have pulled some situations that have happened to me, flipped them a little way to show maybe what I would have liked to happen, and some I switched to have a totally different outcome and others are just pure imagination that maybe was in one of my fairy tale endings. 

I did find a website, after I am done where I can get the book printed and actually sell from there and sell through amazon. It is called Blurb. I have looked around for publishing and I think this will be the way I go once I finish it. Right now I am in the middle of chapter 6 and I probably went about writing a totally different way than the traditional way. I make my characters as I go, which aren’t a lot. I tried the whole brain storming way and it just still ended up me writing whenever and however but I’m okay with that. It’s how my brain works. But I do need to go back and write down the basics because when I take breaks I almost forget who is who. But the basics are still always there. I really want this complete before the end of the year and I think I can accomplish this. 

As I have been writing this one an other story has already popped into my head. It’s a murder mystery. I don’t want to go into too much detail on that one and it’s hard not to start it when this one isn’t finished yet. But wish me luck and I hope you get a chance to read this finished product when I realease it.

The story is about a young business owner in her late 20’s. Balancing life, business, friendship and love. After a A relationship goes south, one that she thought was forever; she takes to her career and her friends for support. Outside influences and blind dates to try and fill that whole for love get ping ponged until the one hits her. But is the past really in the past? Finally filling her life circle she gets smacked in the face with out of no where sightings, gifts, endless phone calls from him. Did he just become a stalker, will it alter her knew growing love? Who’s baby is this? 

Krista 

Do girls have it harder streaming video games?

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You could say I am not your typical girl. I like makeup, sports, video games, comic books, fashion and I’m a witch…. My entire life is eclectic so when I started streaming videos games I know that would be a variety as well. 

So I of course try and make my streams 100% me which can be sometimes all over the place but being a mom, most of the times my kids depict when I’m able to game. I’m in a couple of streamers groups and I talk to my brother about this. Do girls that are in the top really get there because of their looks and witty charm? But then we go around watching other girls that are just as witty and entertaining but they don’t have to get dolled up to do it. Their views are low and some even give off great advice on how to play etc. but they get bypassed. Why is this?? Many people go straight for the gut; no boobs hanging out, no make up on and maybe guys find them intimidating because they know more about electronics or a game than them???  

I did a test, I sometimes will stream knowing I just got done with yard work but I just want to relax. Once in a while I’ll pull out the works and just want to look nice for myself. But I have seen a change in interaction and viewers when I put in ten times more the effort in my face look. Same talkative personality seems to be over looked. 

See me in part 1 getting ready for a twitchstream  Get ready with me- twitch look test 

and then part 2 the after stream. 

Results from twitch makeup look

What are your thoughts on this?? Are you a female that refuses to go on without looking on point? Have you noticed a difference if you’ve gone on how you are?? No bashing, no negativity. Opinions are fine just be respectful. 

Krista

Don’t forget to follow me on:

YOUTUBE: GlamMom2Boyz

TWITTER: @1dream2succeed

BUSINESS PAGE: http://Facebook.com/groups/curvesahead217 

INSTAGRAM: @kreese217

BLOG: https://glammom2boyz.wordpress.com/

TWITCH: Http://twitch.tv/marie217

My struggle with religion and finding Paganism

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“What religion are you?”

“Not religious but I am Pagan.”

That his how comfortable it is for me now. No I don’t worship Satan, I fly a pentacle and triple moon on my front porch because it is power and strength. This is what I have gained since I have found myself. 

My entire life, I honestly felt Christianity was the only answer. But I could never stick to it. Something felt missing or I just didn’t click with all of it. Church after church I would go. It would fit for a couple of months, then I’d be back home again feeling lost and even more disconnected. 

With having sons I felt it was more important for them to understand Christianity. Well, I still feel that way but more so with many religions; so they can decide for themselves one day. 

I don’t and never will judge someone for what religion they follow. It’s how they treat others who follow a different path. More about the person on the inside. 

All this religion talk and I admit I’m not 100% religious. I am Pagan, not Wiccan, which is more of a religious upbringing. I believe in many Gods- usually the ones I feel that call to me. At the moment it is Goddess Isis, Egyptian name Aset, I get nervous throwing that around without explaining these days. 


This picture is 1 of 2 on my altar. 

  But I am eclectic as I pull from many practices and religions. Some Christianity, some Wiccan and some witchcraft. Yes I said it, witchcraft.    Being in tune with energy and life around me I feel alive, free, more confident in myself and like I have found my way. 

I want to continue on this path and keep learning, growing and meeting others. I have ran across people who practice and I would have no clue. When people comment on my Goddess Isis necklace we get to talking. Usually if you know that much there is more than one thing we can talk about. 

With my eclectic pagan witchcraft I use; stones, crystals,  candles, herbs, scents, meditation, spells, sea shells, pearls, tarot cards, oracle cards and of course the elements- earth, air, fire and water. These ar just a few but I have a wide collection and it is still growing. 

Check out my YouTube vlog on starting my Pagan love and journey

Beginning my Pagan Journey
I want to not only show my journey but being Pagan or Wiccan has some type of view to outsiders and it should be broken. I’m a single mom of 2 boys and I don’t fit those typical stereotypes. 

Share your stories, are you on the path to Paganism? Just need someone to chat with and you aren’t ready to open to the world let alone your family. I am always here. 

Blessed be.

Krista 

Don’t forget to follow me on:

YOUTUBE: GlamMom2Boyz

TWITTER: @1dream2succeed

BUSINESS PAGE: Curves Ahead Fashion

INSTAGRAM: @kreese217

BLOG: https://glammom2boyz.wordpress.com/

TWITCH: Marie217

How I clean my makeup brushes 

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I have a range of brushes and no matter what every week I will touch every single one of them for different techniques and some products just work better with certain brushes. 

I wasn’t happy with using some over the counter products with my brushes. They either were not getting clean enough or I didn’t like how they felt afterward. Almost like rinsing them a thousand times still wasn’t getting all of the product out. So here is my solution.


You will need:

Your brushes

Coconut oil- I got mine from Aldo’s

A rubber hand massager- mine has big ridges on one side and smaller ones on the other. 

Dawn dish soap

Towel

Now as you can see all of my brushes have some wear to them. I’m really bad at going a little while without washing them. For some reason they just feel and work better when they have some life back into them. So let’s begin.

Spread your coconut oil onto your hand massager, with bigger brushes I used a lot more to spread it out and sometimes I did this step 2-3 times 

I always just use less soap than coconut oil. With Dawn a little really does go a long way. It will get a nice lather and works great with the coconut oil.

Now to get those pesky brushes.


Now most of my brushes are white tipped so when they start looking like this I def need to clean them asap. Sometimes when you start getting breakouts that’s a sign to for sure to get your brushes cleaned.

I start with the side that has the shorter ridges. These are not as flimsy as the other side. I get warm water going on the sink and get the brush wet and some water on the coconut oil and Dawn dish soap. Then you start getting you lather going in a circular motion with the brush in the mixture. You will start seeing the makeup cleaning off of your brush.

* NOTE- I do not keep the brush and mixture running under the water just a little and I may reapply water and if it’s a bigger brush and I see it starting to dry out.


As I see the brush getting cleaner I will take the Dawn dish soap and apply a little to the other side of hand massager. And still with a circular motion I do a last cleanse on the brush then rinse it off with just plain water. 

*NOTE- when the soap is white, as it should be, is when I finish the last cleanse on the brush on this side of the massager. 


After the final rinse I dab the brushes on a towel and let them air dry. I don’t squeeze or twist them- that’s just too much strain on them. But I do try and get as much water out of them as possible before I let them air dry. 


And here they are all clean, back to white tips and the coconut oil doesn’t leave them feeling greasy as some people might think. They are soft and almost back to new if not better. They aren’t stiff and they are ready to go. 


I hope this helps you with an idea of how to clean your brushes. What have you done that works for you and brings your brushes back to life??

Be sure to check out my YouTube channel as well and join the fanpage for affordable and fashionable plus size clothing. All linked below.

Krista

Don’t forget to follow me on:

YOUTUBE:  GlamMom2Boyz https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC8Jy3nrsq5zsxs_ws_NCAA

TWITTER: @1dream2succeed

BUSINESS PAGE: http://Facebook.com/groups/curvesahea… 

INSTAGRAM: @kreese217

BLOG: https://glammom2boyz.wordpress.com/

TWITCH: https://www.twitch.tv/marie217

I cry myself to sleep- Being a single mother.

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I never expected this to be easy, then again I never expected to be a single mother. I always envisioned how my life would go. Like most girls it always ended the same. Now at 29 I wish I never had those fairy tale visions. It has done nothing but hurt me as a woman growing up in this world.

    I cry myself to sleep just about every night, no matter how good or bad the day actually was. It’s when my mind is calm and I think about why me, am I doing enough. Why are they so lucky? Or am I really the lucky one?

The other parent….

I will say it… I hate them. I have to be honest. How does one think that just because you are no longer together it is okay to see your child when it is fit for you?? If I didn’t have custody of my kids I would still be seeing them after work and any chance I would get. Do people really think that they can only see their kid daily if they live with them and still with the other parent?  Don’t tell me, I work… SO DO I! I’d have to find a sitter…. DUH been there done that. These are just excuses  to me and go in one ear and out of the other. I have missed work because my children needed me. I have missed work because I couldn’t find a sitter. But then you get to parade around like you are still in your teens/early 20’s with no children. Instagram, Facebook- the parties the drinking and shopping.. oh what I don’t see any kids clothes, toys in there.  But wait you have a picture posted from 2 weeks ago to remind people yes you have a kid. While you get to live your life how you want to I’ll be raising my children with morals, a fight to do better and be successful in life. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t piss me off bc it does, all of the time. And I sit here just praying to take a crap by myself without a little person opening the door asking what I am doing.

 

Business…

I am beyond happy that I finally got to star my own business, with my sister none the less. It has been a dream of mine since I decided to switch over from modeling to a fashion designer. I started off in DS which honestly I loved. I got to hold management positions in a couple of retail stores that helped mold me even better to opening my own boutique. It is hard work, not just having kids but wanting to be successful and giving it all you got and you never get support. It’s not always about the sales support but from your peers. How much can one person reach out to where you just feel like you are sitting there talking to yourself? I love what we have started…. I just start to feel defeated like I still don’t know my purpose, are people even really listening to me? I have a love for helping people in fashion, to some it is not that big of a deal but curvy girls have a hard enough time in this day and age and I want to do anything I can to help. I have the same issues; clothing too expensive, not flattering etc. I offer my advice, styling, affordable prices…..What am I missing?

 

Relationships/dating…

I will never fall in love again. It is a fear and a promise to myself. I clearly have terrible judgement in relationships and after stepping back and now being single for a little over a year. There were so many signs but I let love/my heart blind my mind/ the obvious. I don’t regret my kids, I regret the relationships. I don’t trust people anymore and it has drug out my depression and anxiety with people and especially new people. I don’t want to love another person that isn’t my kids/family and best friends. I would rather have everything I have every dreamed of, work hard to get and make sure my kids have the same than bring another “adult” to take up my time and guide me off course. 2 situations more 1 than the other set me back 3 years in my career and I guess I am disgusted by that. But also dating in 2016-2017….. people are just…… weird. The things people expect, say and do…. I am still stuck in the early 2000’s dating in high school- it was less stressful then. But I know I am very head strong, verbal and partly intimidating because I tell it all first hand. I hate the millions questions- What’s your favorite color? What do you like to do? on and on… I’m more casual talking let it come up on it’s own but….. these people don’t know how to do that… I’m told I have an old soul, maybe there is some truth to that. I usually cant handle people in their 20’s  and some early to mid 30’s.

 

Self image….

Am I really the woman who cares about looks… Well I kind of am. But wait I try and support others to love the skin they are in and enjoy life…. Yeah, it’s true when they say people should really follow their own advice. I have a beautiful sister… but I’ll be honest. I’ve always been jealous of her. SHE IS BEAUTIFUL.. I don’t compare to her and I always wish I had her hair… Yeah hair. I was born with alopecia arietta and growing no body hair is fantastic but when you’re a fashion major, model its tarts to get to you. Yes I wear weaves, yes I wear wigs but I wish it was actually mine. I don’t feel beautiful as a woman. I all sounds so shallow but when you’ve never had a chance to have something that was yours it’s hard. It’s like when you have always had hair then you loose it. I’ve tried and tired to over come this but it’s something that has always bothered me even growing up it hit about 5th-6th grade. The questions and I thought it was over with, I still get comments when I do my hair, I’m flattered that people think it’s mine and want to know who colored it or if I did it myself but I tell them the truth.. it’s not mine, well not mine that I grew but I bought it so it counts… Then the conversations stop and it just gets awkward.  Sometimes I get up and don’t even get dressed for the day because I do not know what to do with my hair because I didn’t get it braided to just wake up and go so it’s either wig or wear my hair how I did as a child I some odd ponytail because that’s all I can do. There was one year I loved my hair. It started growing. I got it to reach my shoulders, it was soft and I LOVED IT. But that’s how it goes, I get one good year then it starts falling out again and takes forever to get it back.

I cry myself to sleep over all of these things just about every night. Mad at myself for being this way, letting it happen, feeling dumb and stupid for believing in love, feeling defeated and not worthy of anyone’s time, upset for my kids that they will never have 2 parents daily like I did growing up and feeling ugly.  This life is hard and I am up at 5am even on summer vacation because either early or late, up to 2am sometimes 3, is my me time. But that doesn’t last long because I have one early riser child… as in he is sitting on my lap right now. Does it feel better to get my feelings off of my chest, well yeah. But it also makes me want to better myself and get past a lot of feelings and emotions. I am the one influence I want to be positive for my kids. If I can do it with trials and tribulations, so can they.

 

 

Krista

Don’t forget to follow me on:
YOUTUBE: GlamMom2Boyz
TWITTER: @1dream2succeed
BUSINESS PAGE: http://Facebook.com/groups/curvesahead217
INSTAGRAM: @kreese217
BLOG: https://glammom2boyz.wordpress.com/
TWITCH: Marie217

Blogging , vlogging and being a working mom

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First off I’d like to welcome myself back. The past week I have been revamping my YouTube, Facebook and here I am on my blog. The past year has been the hardest for me. The one I called my soul mate, he and I split and it should have happened before our son was involved but it didn’t so here I am.

I have finally had the time to do some soul searching and just be me. Which I have found the soul me is very savage lol. But all in good fun. I am living how I want and no one is standing in the way or holding me back by their lies, sneaking off and keeping secrets.

Now taking on two boys has been the hardest. Kristian will be 9 in July and Caiden is 2. They have their brotherly love moments but when a toddler says something is his and the 9 year old takes it personal…. I usually have a world war in my house.  Then I decided to add finally starting my own plus size clothing boutique with my sister. I may have mentioned it before as a dream but it finally came true about 7 months ago. We currently run on Facebook so I hope you can come check out Curves Ahead Fashion ; )

So that’s 2 boys, my own company, take care of the home, I still have a full time job and… Oh the dog. : ) I only have a full plate but it keeps me busy. Which some probably think…so you blog and vlog too? Yes, I do it honestly to help keep my sanity and keeps me talking to adults rather than kids all of the time lol it keeps me level I feel.  So no if you’re wondering there is no room for dating. That’s a whole other blog topic.

I hope we can reconnect and I sure hope you can check out the YouTube. I’ll def be tying them in together as some things are better to type and some just need a video.

 

Cheers,

Krista

http://Facebook.com/groups/curvesahead217

YouTube: GlamMom2Boyz

Instagram: @kreese217

Twitter @1dream2succeed

Twitch: Marie217

 

2 Influenster Voxboxes!! Curél & the Comfort Voxbox

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So I have not done influenster for some time but I just got back into it. I really dont know why I kind of backed off of it for a while. Who doesnt love free stuff??

That’s right influenster just gives out free stuff each month to qualifying candidates to test. They can be full size, samples and/or coupons. It is a beautiful and awfully nice thing.

YouTube Reveal
Here is my first voxbox for October 

  
The comfort voxbox for moms. We have our Nut Exactly bits, Tide sample, Annies, Fiber Choice chews and a ton of coupons that will more than likely be used.  I am a firm lover of tide so I am excited to have the sample and couple; you can never have too much detergent. The Annie’s soup I personally have not heard of so testing this is really a good one for us. I love the easy stoage size for our cabinets and myself loves thi soup. It tastes really goodc, and easy to make. To check out more from Annie’s here is there link: 

Annie’s

The Fiber chews we may be passing over to dad, he needs a little bit more help that I do 😉 but I did initially try them and they taste really good and easy to get down. It helps that they really do taste like candy rather than a chalkie not so flattering after taste. For Fiber Choice coupons and to  learn more about other products click the link below:

Fiber Choice   

We LOVE the Nut Exactly snack bites. The are popcorn covereing nuts and almonds with chocolate. Cody thinks more chocolate is needed but I am more than happy with them. It will make for a great low calorie movie snack.

My second voxbox is the Curél itch defense.

  
I was super excited I qualified for this one. I have eczema and Curél has always been an awesome brand fhat worked well for my dry skin. Now this helps with itching and eczema comes with a lot of itching. I have the moisturizing spray and the body wash which I am sute will go great hand in hand. I plan on trying this on my oldest son as well. He has some signs of senstive skin as well.
So these are my voxboxes from Inluenster. If you want to join in on being a product tester and recieve free products just click the link and influence 😉 take monthly surveys to qualify and review product to unlock brand and lifestyle badges so they know a little bit more clear what voxboxes would be the riggt fit for you.

Join Influenster

Glam mom